My Amazon Reviews: Semi Precious Weapons "Aviation"

This band used to be dangerous
3 Out Of 5 Stars

In reviewing the first two albums by Semi-Precious Weapons, "We Love You" and "You Love You," I made a comment along of the lines that this was a band that could scare church ladies. With a flamboyantly glam approach and lead weapon Justin Tranter, SPW dropped guitar firecrackers of gleefully tasteless rock that seemingly came from a collision with AC/DC and T.Rex. There was little else out there that sounded remotely like it, and I was hooked.

The SPW band that made those two albums is virtually unrecognizable from the one that delivered "Aviation." Instead of having producer Tony Visconti (David Bowie, T.Rex) man the boards, this time they have producer "Tricky," whose best known client is Beyonce. They've gone from "Rebel Rebel" to "Single Ladies." They've gone from opening for Lady Gaga's concerts to actively courting Gaga's consumers. Bye bye, crunchalicious guitar chords, hello throbbing synths and drum machines. It's not a pretty transition.

There are a few songs that keep the winking wit of before in place, like "Cherries On Ice" and "Vegas," where Tranter wails "it's time to go to Vegas...and forget about you." In fact, if it weren't for Tranter's charisma, "Aviation" would just be another run of the mill synth-heavy pop album. They aren't dangerous anymore. They want your attention, and they were willing to go to that fork in the road that asked them if they'd try a third album of the music that wasn't getting anywhere commercially and see if the third time was the charm, or take that fork towards a more mainstream sound. If it's really the record they wanted to make, great (After all, I still bought it). But nothing here comes close to the fury of "Magnetic Baby" or "Leave Your Pretty to Me's" pleas for acceptance. Blandness was the last thing I expected from this bunch and "Aviation" just that. Bland.

     

My Amazon Reviews: Lady Gaga "Artpop"

Lady Uh-Oh
3 Out Of 5 Stars

One of the brilliant things about Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" was just how varied the song styles were. It was like she took a sponge over the best of what the 80's and 90's had to offer, sopped it up, then wrung it out all over her music. A little Madonna, a little Prince, even a little Springsteen. It was an 'everything but the kitchen sink' approach and it worked to an amazing effect. Now, after riding a tidal wave of personality and more hype than just about any pop album in the last few years, we get "ArtPop." What was an amalgamation before now just comes off as rote. Her personality still compensates for a lot here, but this is not much more than a standard issue laptop dance album. After Katy Perry's disappointing "Prism," "Artpop" carries too much baggage and ultimately fails to deliver the goods.

The opener, the middle eastern tinged "Aura," does give the album a major kickstart, but even then it just ascends into electronic dance music. There's the three rappers on "Jewels and Drugs," which does not one up having Kanye West on the last album. And for friggin' sakes, a pot puffing song in "Mary Jane Holland"? If I wanted Myley Cyrus, I would've bought "Bangerz." The profanities are gratuitous, the songs sound-alikes, and the lack of variety gets painfully obvious after a couple of listens.

The saving graces come mostly from the singles. "Applause" was enough of a bell-ringer that I was prepared for a solid album. Odd that it is what closes the album. "Venus" is also fun, where the worldplay may be juvenile (Uranus, hee hee hee), but the hook inescapable. The duet with R Kelly is a big surprise as the old school crooner is a perfect match for a subdued Gaga on "Do What U Want" (even the title is a throwback, in the way the best songs on "Born This Way" were). That's only four songs that I think will interest me long enough to go back to the album for. Lady Gaga is now in danger of becoming something I was hoping she'd be able to avoid; "Artpop" reveals the artist as cookie-cutter poptart saved mainly by that larger than life character she's invented for herself.

     

My Amazon Reviews: Lady Gaga "Born This Way"

Drop Kitchen Sink Here
4 Out of 5 Stars

 Lady Gaga is a product of delicious, kitschy, wretched excess. She wallows in it like a bubble bath. She throws it into the air like so many bags of glitter and confetti. If there's something flashy, she lunges it for it before anyone else even sees a flicker. And more to the point, she makes absolutely no apologies for madly, passionately being in love with what she's creating and the ingredients she is building her home for Little Monsters from. This is what make Lady Gaga and her "Born This Way" so lovable.

Like Madonna, Elton John or even David Bowie before her, Gaga spares no excess when it comes to her music. Does she want to emulate Springsteen? Then not only will there be a sax solo, Clarence Clemmons himself is going to play it ("Hair," "Edge Of Glory"). Does she think Madonna's expression of Catholic guilt on "Like a Prayer" was a high point of 80's dance music? Then "Judas" and "Black Jesus" are where it's really at for the 2010's. That cover image of Gaga as a human motorcycle is no accident, either. To meet that expectation, she gives herself up to her "Heavy Metal Lover" and then mashes cute girly kitsch with a road-warrior meme on "Highway Unicorn." There's nothing Gaga won't try, nor any room for subtleties.

The bonus disc of the deluxe edition proves this point even more by including the "country road" version of the title track. (The other tracks are useless remixes). Gaga is as calculating and cunning as she is creative and wild. The song "Born This Way" references Madonna's "Express Yourself," "The Queen" (one of the deluxe edition's extra tracks) references Queen's "Killer Queen" while Brian May plays lead guitar on "You and I." "The Edge Of Glory" - along with the title song, my favorite on the album - takes its cues from all those 80's Bon Jovi and Springsteen anthems. The Mother Monster knows that this is her moment and she's using it to both pay tribute to all the influences that came before her as well as establish that she is every bit their creative equal. That's what makes "Born This Way" a terrific pop album and Lady Gaga herself such a fascinating artist.

 

My Amazon Reviews: Weird Al Yankovic "Alpocalypse"

Pa-Pa-Polkaface  
4 Out Of 5 Stars

Whenever Weird Al manages to capture the current pop zeitgeist, he can be counted on to make a brilliant song or two per album. When he tackled Michael Jackson at his best, he created two of the most incredible parodies of the 80's with "Eat It" and "Fat." Then there was "White and Nerdy." And now, thanks to Lady Gaga, he's back in a big way. From the goof on gath of the cover to the ever-present pop-polka medley, "Alpocalypse" shows once more why Weird Al Yankovic has remained the the eminent musical comedian/parodist of the last three decades.

The hits to duds ratio is about equal, and the standouts are gutbusters. Most importantly is the tackling of Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" into "Perform This Way," which not only parodies the song but the artist (something Al rarely does). The video also neatly ties Al's timelines together, skewering Madonna (another frequent Al target) and Gaga at the same time. At the same time, Al reimagines Jim Morrison as an upset user of "Craigslist" and Charles Nelson Reilly as the topic of a Racountours/Jack White guitar crusher. Technology also takes it on the chin, as "Ringtone" evokes "my wife to smash my I-Phone with a brick...but I hate to waste a $1.99" over his obnoxious cell tones.

Another eason why Al is a genius is how the man can write a parody of almost any genre. He ricochets from Bruno Mars to Miley Cyrus to The Doors to Queen. Often the originals take on all at once. Of the originals, my favorite is the finale, "Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me," a tirade against stupid emails set to a gorgeous melody. Like one of those massively building Jim Steinman songs, Al begs and pleads...

I just can't believe you believe those urban legends.
But I have high hopes that someone will point you toward Snopes
And debunk that crazy junk you're spewing constantly.

On the smiley meter, 4 and a half teeth. This man deserves to be in the Rock and Roll Hall of fame.

 

Another Reason To Love Lady Gaga: She tells off a homo-phobic Christ Stain Idiot

Forward in to about the 2:15 mark





 

My Amazon Reviews: Lady Gaga "Fame Monster EP"

You and Me Could Write One 
4 Out Of 5 Stars

I have to give Lady Gaga massive amounts of credit; she's found a formula that thousands before her have used, bent it to her own personality, soaked it with a love of the theatrical, and best of all, made it all sound fun. In one album and this mini-lp, she has become the biggest female icon since Madonna. Even better, she's stood up for her fans (her impassioned work to end don't ask don't tell) and used her newfound fame for more than the accumulation of dough.

So what's left to say? if you listen to the radio or goof off with YouTube, you've already heard/seen most of the album. If you liked "Bad Romance" or the mini-movie that is "Telephone," you're likely going to dig the music. For me, the interesting thing is the range Lady Gaga has on display here. "Speechless" is an old-fashioned torch song, and "Teeth" is the kind of devious sex song Madonna would have killed for in her heyday.

There is a part of me that hopes Lady Gaga evolves away from the already dated production of these original recordings. My fantasy is that she and her pals in glam/trash rocker band Semi-Precious Weapons do a project together. But as long as she keeps her sense of style and determination to remain a non-conformist, "The Fame Monster" sounds like it's only the beginning of the World of Gaga.