It's time for Tim Vs a Movie Blog!

Have you ever given much thought to what successful Fanboys are like? I got a real good wiff of that last week courtesy of a website that doubles as a Movie Blog. The general function of this site is to list current and upcoming news amid gossip about movies that – essentially – are fanboy films. The news is usually actual news, but if you’re looking for culture, forget it. However, arguments over actors in Ironman 2 or where Jason Straithern is filming? Heck, yeah!

As you can likely guess, the site was gaga over Watchmen, and a post was placed from the writer, David Hayter, imploring people to not just go and see Watchmen, but to go two or three times. Or, as he put it, movies like this might never get made again. Kind of pathetic, but amusing. That day also had in inter-office email from one of our guys in accounting, a portion of which is below:


10 Things To Know About Watchmen
Never heard of Watchmen? Not a fan? Here’s what you’ll need to know before seeing the film.
This being a Watchmen fan site, I tend to write most of my articles for the avid Watchmen fan. Today, in the wake of some recent misleading news stories, ill-written reviews and blatant propaganda floating around the Net, I'm presenting this primer that will help the uninitiated get prepared to watch Watchmen.

10. It’s not a super hero movie
Don't go into this film expecting Fantastic Four or Spiderman 3. Why? Well, first off, Fantastic Four and Spiderman 3 sucked…

And so on. I figured it was a post gone viral and re-posted in the comments section on the Movie site, and didn’t think much of it. Then a few hours later, I checked my emails and found this:

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This comment was deleted.

First off, this is not at all close to the topic at hand. Taking up that much space in the comment section with something that is about the Watchmen, but has nothing to do with the Open Letter was not only not required, it was rude to attempt to hijack the discussion.

Secondly, this is NOT your writing. This is an article that was on Watchmencomicmovie.com and you posted it here trying to sound clever and claiming it as your own opinion. This is nothing short of plagiarism. For someone who considers themselves a "writer" you should be ashamed
that you tried this.

Do not attempt this again.

******

Then – was this e-mail, posted 20 minutes later.

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I already deleted this ripoff article you tried to post already and now I have done it twice. (TB - I only posted it once, my guess is his software was a bit slow on the deletion uptick.)

STOP trying to offer up this article as your own. You didn't write it and it has NO PLACE in this topic of discussion.

Rodney Brazeau.

******

And THEN, a third e-mail with the same complaint. I was taken aback but the sheer neurotic obsessiveness of it, and crafted a reply.

Dear Rodney Brazeau.

Oh please...your high horse is unbecoming. I never claimed it as original, nor do I think it an attempt to "Highjack" the topic. If you want to delete it as an unoriginal comment, fine, bit if you want scold me like some scurrilous fanboy upset that it's his precious website, that's over the top. Incidentally, I do not 'consider myself a writer,' I get PAID for it. Four books so far, countless magazine articles and anthology contributions over three decades. I do not need a blog to make myself known.

Cheers

******

I logged out of my e-mails and went back to tasks at hand. When I checked my e-mails around dinnertime, I found that Rodney had sent a reply to me within minutes of my sending one to him.

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Well mister high horse hypocrite, I am glad you don't need a blog to make yourself known, but you have a lovely website promoting your works. Funny after 3 decades of your work, you still don't exist on my radar. And yet it is my blog that makes me suddenly known to you. I find your ignorance unbecoming. You shout down from on that big old hobby horse of yours trying to discredit my actions while you blatantly copied and pasted someone else's work into our blog, eagerly attaching your screen name, email and website address to it with NO CREDIT at all and still consider yourself worthy of the title of writer. For someone claiming to have decades of experience as a writer this never occurred to you that this is a vile act of theft?

Makes me wonder just how much of your books are even your own content? Is there any credibility left in you?

You posted the article, not your own, which had only the movie itself in common with the topic at hand. Where was your motivation in this obvious theft of another writer's work in posting it on this site? There was no addition, no commentary, nothing.

So while you are trying so desperately to elevate your status while admitting your own lack of ethics, I find it amusing that you think attacking my profession as "less than" your own is going to justify your actions. Your hypocritical assessment that this is "just a blog" while you have a career as a writer is deliciously ironic since you were more than willing to come visit and attempt to spam your stolen content here hoping someone would notice your webaddress.

Troll another site with your plagiarism. We give credit to stories we discuss here.

******

So this Rodney guy has an ego the size of a drive-in movie screen, no? And obviously an easy mark, since I never said his site was “Just a blog,” so I decided to play him for a few more notes. I sent this back.

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*Wow...all I can say is Wow. If this wasn't so funny, it would be sad. For starts, my books are for a rather small niche market. I would not expect that they would be ON your radar, unless you attend the same events I do, or do presentations for the same crowd. This is the sort of clichéd response I'd expect from a hack blogger; the only thing missing is a picture of you in your Mom's basement eating Frosted Flakes in your Transformer Underwear. You responded to my comments within 10 minutes of my sending to you as if you were pausing from your busy day of gaming to watch your inbox. There are some of us that are concerned with topics other than which Transformer will be in this Summer's Michael Bay CGI extravaganza.

And you're right! I DO have a website to promote my work. Last I checked, most people who actually do creative work have them. Even President Barrack Obama has one! Yet you're on my radar....the same way People Magazine and other pop puffery is on my radar. In the 30 years I have worked in various fields of entertainment, smug self-important narrow-casters like you have come and gone. They're all the same; they are all way less important or influential than they think they are or make self-righteous comedy that is way out of their league (The column about the bogus "Slumdog" kids controversy).

”Makes me wonder just how much of your books are even your own content? Is there any credibility left in you?”

Bwaa haa haa - this from a Blog that is little but content from other folks! Next? Ethics? Ethics? Did I not see a comment from you that called Frank Miller “Batshit Insane"? Hoo baby! And what college is your degree in Psychology from? Ever even met the man? (Comic-con or industry photo-ops do not count.)

I posted an article from an inter-office email. If you had any couth or class, you would have made a NOTE of its origin and shared it with your alleged mega-audience. Too hard for you? Goody. Now go eat some more Pop Tarts and debate more merits of (the upcoming movie) Dragonball. And when you get your first book or TV or film appearance let me know.

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Minutes later he replied, but I somehow deleted it. It was funny, because Rodney then called me a troll and made sneering comments about writing books about spanking asses. I forwarded this to the accounting dude that started the chain figuring he’d get a good laugh, which is how I think I lost this particular email. But it ended with these lines:

> Have fun pretending you matter to me. You have provided me with
> leagues of self validation when even a liar who steals other people's work
> cannot manage to jog my emotions.

******

Smell the synapses frying? I was laughing so hard that I crafted a quick note before heading off to bed

******

Dear Rodney,
Seems I don't have to pretend. You managed to find time to respond not once, twice but THREE times to this old troll. Your ego and emotions were so unjogged, you found time to peruse my site, get a little info (incorrect, I should add) about the books, and to make snarky comments about the wholly unoriginal scooping of other folk's stories for your clearing house of a web site. I am starting to think calling it a 'blog" is giving you too much credit. Now go back to your Transformer Action Figures and your Comic Books. Something tells me "self-validation" is something you hardly need from me. You're full of enough of it every time you cut and paste another article and then act like it's your own original thought.

Cheers

******

When I checked my e-mail the next day, as I expected, Rodney was still simmering enough to send this reply within 15 minutes of my hitting the send button the night before.

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See troll, this is exactly my point. Provided I keep replying to laugh at you, you will keep repeating the same nonsense.

We talk about the news and quote a snippet of the article to get the basics and even provide a link to it. We provide lots of traffic to these sites and people love reading about an opinion instead of just stated news. See, that's what bloggers do. Oh wait, you are going to pretend that isn't true so you can cling to this fantasy that I lie, cheat and steal content like you do. You try and try to throw insults at me while I make a living writing in a blog. There are far more insults and accusations a person could gather from your personal lifestyle but I don't have to. You lower yourself to these empty playground insults. Amazing how you are so eager to try and insult me and still have to keep repeating the same garbage you know isn't accurate to do it.

Keep up the good work. It’s just so flattering when you try so hard and still can't upset me. I am wondering what you will come up with next, but I imagine it will just be repeating the same unjustified garbage you keep trying.

******

This was getting to be too easy.

******

Dearest Rodney,

Wow, a reply at one in the morning.

(Playground Insult warning) How much Mountain Dew did you need to sit up that late? Ooooo....a "lifestyle comment" from a Movie Blog. You're inching ever closer to Perez Hilton! And lastly. It is far too obvious that I am deep under your skin, else the reply would not arrive minutes after I sent an email to you and well after I had gone to bed.

So what. Really. You're a hacksite who posts geekgasms like cellphone recorded convention trailers for Tron2 and film clips pulled when the studios issue Cease and Desists. Or calling Frank Miller "Batshit Insane." Your "blog" has all the societal relevance of folks that post news about their pets and grandkids. Mildly entertaining in the morning, way less informative than Variety Daily. Glad you make a living at it. Otherwise your profession would be asking if you wanted "that for here or to go."

******

And guess what? Nine minutes later (by now I was watching for them and timing it).

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Oh my dear ugly wasteful troll. Mountain Dew does not have caffeine in Canada but nice try. I would have to drink a fair amount of that in an effort to stimulate myself.

And I did not take a shot at your lifestyle, so there goes a perfectly good Perez Hilton burn (who is still more famous and accomplished than you are) I simply suggested that there are far easier targets than a Movie pundit writer with your chosen "profession". And yes, we get excited over movie news. Oh noes! The evil rubber fetish troll is going to call me names because I like movies!!!! Let me know when I am supposed to act intimidated. And yes, we do occasionally get C&D orders from studios for stuff we post, but then they wouldn't bother if no one was reading.

And while you keep trying to take shots at how irrelevant this site is, do remember you not only felt the need to come to the site, but also to comment. Blatant attempt to draw attention to your "writer" status with your stolen content, but you figured the site had value then. You just dig your hole deeper everytime you try to insult my site. Seriously, are you done yet? Or are you rabidly crafting your reply insinuating that I have no life because I was online when you emailed me this latest illustration of your self worth?

This is getting embarrassing for you.

******

Obviously, the guy has never seen the Gold Buddha episode of HBO’s Sexbytes if he thinks his emails are emabarrassing to me.

******

Dear Rodney the Canadian Homophobe,

Wow, again. Most be a slow day for trolling the movie sites for news to skim and swipe. Less than 45 minutes. Shouldn't you be writing another desperate plea for the citizens of the world to march to their nearest theater and buy 10 tickets to Watchmen and then keep the row to themselves?

Trust me, I don't do embarrassed.

On the other hand, you seemed to wallow in it.

Cheers

******

Oh goodie. I was hoping you would have at least one misguided homophobic insult for me.

Why is it that you think you can offend me by calling me homophobic? I might be straight, but some of the best night clubs I go to are gay clubs. I am secure in my sexuality and I just laugh when every empty headed insecure troll thinks that they can try that line and its going to upset me?

And just when I thought that was the bottom of the barrel you accuse me of desperately trying to get people to go to see Watchmen 10 times. Well retard, you might have wanted to read the post, because I didn't write that. But I guess its instinct to assume I would take credit for David Hayter's open letter since that would be your first course of action.

Sorry you failed again.

I anxiously await more examples of your failures and blind assumptions that just continue to prove me right.

******

Dear silly homophobic illiterate Canadian Rodney,

I think I can hear you hyperventilating from here. And please get the context correct, I did not say see Watchmen 10 times, I said buy 10 tickets and go by yourself (since ubergeeks have trouble getting dates, my guess is that this is a normal situation for you!). You may not have written David's letter, but you seem thrilled to smack down anyone who finds his pathetic grab at ticket sales little more than a…

Thanks for giving me enough material for a new column. Must now get to work. I am sure you will have one more silly retort, but this is the last you'll hear from me. Now please, go change your Iron Man Undies. They're starting to smell funny after that last explosion. Is that your Mom telling you to clean up your room?

Cheers
tim

******

As expected, Rodney couldn’t resist one more.

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And yet another blind assumption blows up in your face. Just like your assumptions that I live at home with my mom. See when you know nothing about a person it makes it REALLY hard to find things to insult them with, and everytime you fabricate something to offer up an insult, all you do is prove that you CANT insult me. I thought such a smart guy like you would have figured that out after your first 3 attempts to attack my living arrangements, sexual orientation and choice of career failed to insult me.

I don’t need to buy ten tickets to see a movie. I have press credentials, I go to advanced screenings. Furthermore, I am permitted to bring my wife or a guest of my choosing with me when I do.

Not surprised that you jumped to conclusions about David's letter, you seem to assume everything else. And if you bothered to READ David’s letter, you would have seen that it wasn't a "pathetic plea", it was ... oh wait... you didn't finish that sentence despite punctuating it as the end! I wonder how a WRITER managed to do that.

And see.. that line about expecting a silly retort, you stole that from me... not surprising considering you have no qualms claiming other people's work as your own. I have been taunting your weak ass into repeated replies since your very first veiled attempt to cover up for plagiarism. Even the playground kids don't repeat the same insult twice, but that’s all you have been doing.

What's next? "I know you are but what am I?"

Go write your "column". I hope both your readers and the person you stole it from enjoy it.

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Thankfully, some folks don’t need to steal. Guys like Rodney Brazeau have such humongous petards that they can hang themselves with them. I did love how my calling him a homophobe made him promptly make a case that I questioned his sexuality; doth the lady protest too much? Just goes to show you; You can take the fanboy out of the basement, but you can’t take the basement out of the fanboy. So I will allow the final words to be from our man in accounting, the one who sent out the original “10 Things To Know About Watchmen” inter-office e-mail. After he saw those first three emails between me and Roddo, his comment to me was “The guy needs to go take a shower.”