Keeping America Stupid: More Proof Of The Non-Existence of God. Pat Roberston blames the Earthquake on men who are "Kind of Gay" (Satire)

VIRGINIA BEACH (The Borowitz Report) – Evangelist Pat Robertson sparked controversy in today’s broadcast of his 700 Club program by saying that yesterday’s mild East Coast earthquake was God’s revenge on people “who act kind of gay. All across the Eastern seaboard, there are men who get manicures, wear designer eyewear and know about thread counts,” claims Rev. Robertson. “God finds this somewhat gay-like behavior confusing, and He responded by getting mildly peeved.”

The televangelist warned that if Americans persist in their “seemingly sort-of-gay behavior,” the country should brace itself for additional ambiguous acts of retaliation from the Almighty. “God will strike back at people who act sort of gay with all kinds of mild responses,” he said. “If you keep getting pedicures and facials, you can expect two to three inches of rain and some really hot humid days in your future.”
Rev. Robertson said that New Yorkers who reacted in an over-the-top way to yesterday’s temblor “run the risk of moderately annoying the Heavenly Father yet again.”

“God looks at people who get their panties in a twist after a little shaking, and He says to Himself, ‘Wow, that’s really kind of gay,’” he said.

Keeping America Stupid; SC Divison

There must be something in the water for them South Caroliner Politicos. First there was Governor Mark Sanford, who gave new meaning to Appalcian Trail. He had an affair and now he won't shut up about it. There's his second in command, Lt . Gov. Andre Bauer, who just might be having affairs with men, and he won't talk about it. Other than to deny it without being prompted. A lot. And then there's this freak of nature:

Meet South Carolina Republican Rep. Joe Wilson, the man who will now live on in YouTube infany for being the utter jackass who squealed "You lie!" when President Obama firmly denied any Free Illegal Immigrant Health Care was in his Health Care reform bill. While watching the President give his speech, when I heard the shout from the crowd, my first thought was if there were any civilian spectators who had opened up a protest. But no. It was bona fide elected evidence that not only should abortion remain legal, it should be extended into the 89th trimester. If there was ever a living, breathing, vomiting piece of proof that the Republican Party has zero interest in Bi-Partisan Heath Care legislation, this man is it. We won't even go into liklihood of Wilson's subliminal racism.

On a positive note, soon after Mr Wilson's extraordinary show of how out of touch the Rebuplican party is circa 2009, his web site had crashed, he had taken a beating on his Twitter page and Democrat Rob Miller had raised thousands of unexpected dollars online for a possible rematch with Wilson in next year's midterm elections, according to Lachlan McIntosh, Miller's campaign manager. In the eight hours since Wilson's outburst, former-Marine Rob Miller has received nearly 3,000 individual grassroots contributions raising approximately $100,000, the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee said. So sometimes, the system works.